The weeks are growing few until this deployment is finally over! And I am SO HAPPY to say that! I cannot wait to have my family whole again and my heart whole again. Just the past few days, it has hit me how soon Scott will be coming back, and I have so much more joy than I have for a looong time. I wouldn't say I have been depressed or anything, but I have been...incomplete. I can live without him, I can even enjoy life without him, but I really, really like it when I get to live with him.
Ecstatic. Thrilled. That's what I feel when I realize how close redeployment is. And there is lots of other exciting stuff going on right now, too. Child Thing #1 has her first dance recital. We're planning a birthday party for both the child things before we leave. We're packing up our stuff to go to Hawaii. We have secured a rental house (just a block or so from the beach, if I may brag a little bit). It's all so exciting!
Of course, in the back of my mind lurks the question, "what if we don't like each other anymore?" And it's a valid question. The Army counselors/chaplains say couples develop coping mechanisms to deal with life alone and to deal with war, and those don't always mesh well when it is over. And they say the spouse left at home has had no other choice but to become very independent and self-sufficient, which makes the soldier feel unwanted. And the soldier has experienced the horrors of war, and that changes a person. Then throw in the fact that both are used to their independent routines and have to re-learn how to live together, and you have the potential for a big mess!
Maybe it's foolish of me, but I'm not expecting this "adjustment period" to be quite as rough as the last one. We have been there before, and we made it through and still love each other. So we know that if it seems bleak for a while, things will get better. As far as I can tell, this deployment has not been nearly as traumatic as the last, so perhaps Scott will be less affected by the "horrors of war."
So there's that, but for now I'm just going to be excited that he's finally coming home! And that my kids are about to turn 2 and 5! And that I will soon get to see my little girl on stage in a tutu! And that we are about to move to Hawai'i! And that we are going to live on the beach!
God is good to me!